America The Friendly

After years of traveling, returning to the U.S. reminds me how uniquely warm and outgoing Americans are.

I am back in America and as always, I’m experiencing reverse culture shock. I often forget how American America is.

One of the many cultural perspectives I like about the US is how friendly and receptive people are (despite the political divide shaping the country), it’s the polar opposite of most countries.

When I moved into my apartment in Bangkok, not a soul said ‘hi’ to me. It did not matter if we passed inches apart in the hall or were sitting next to each other by the pool, I was invisible to them (and they thought they were to me). In America, neighbors I don’t know are bringing me cookies to welcome me to the neighborhood and introduce themselves.

Chinese friends and former students Will and Ray, who now live in Los Angeles, were shocked when they moved into their apartment and total strangers said hi to them. As Ray told me, “I was shocked, why were these people I don’t know talking to me?” - Welcome to America, Ray.

Kim and I got our first dose of this on the flight to Dallas from Campeche. The man across the aisle, with a big Texan cowboy hat, paisley shirt, and cowboy boots (I’m not making this up) started talking to me like we were best friends. I thought it was truly odd after having been out of America for so long.

At first, I was less than enthused, feeling now obligated to have a conversation I really didn’t want to have. But, practice what you preach, Way. I’m on a plane to America, time to change my perspective, time to be more American.

I talked to him.

He said it was 25 degrees at his house.

I said, how lovely.

He said, You like the cold?

I said, Oh, you mean Fahrenheit.

And it was all miscommunication from there on. But it was fun.

And that’s the thing, Americans are fun. It’s part of their cultural perspective. Kim and I went out for coffee (one of the most expensive coffees we’ve ever had) and the barista was super friendly, she was cheerful, she asked questions to engage us in conversation,

It’s her job to be friendly, you might say, but it’s not the job of baristas in other countries. In most other countries, the barista’s job is to make and serve coffee and that’s where it ends. It’s part of the American ethos to make connections with strangers and it spills over into the workplace, and of course they work for tips, another American peculiarity.

When Kim and I walk down the street around the world, strangers don’t make connections with us. Strangers connect with us here in the US. People you don’t know in America look you in the eye, they smile, the hold doors, they say hi, they try and connect in so many ways.

Taxi/Uber drivers talk to you in the US. Passengers are expected to greet the driver and say something nice like ‘Have a nice day’ when the ride is over. This doesn’t happen everywhere.

The cultural practice of, “I’m your best friend forever (for the next few minutes)” is different. If you live in the US you take it for granted, but it is uniquely American. Like many new-to-me cultural customs I encounter, I like it.

So keep being friendly, America - it’s so very American.

Back at the news on Monday. See you then.

Ciao, Way